Live These Words
by Lucky Shamrock
Summary: They shared a soul. A bond that would last from the very start to the very end. Remus Lupin learns the meaning of love, loss, and everything in between.
1. Chapter 1

Live These Words  
**Written By:** Lucky Shamrock

**Disclaimer:** J.K Rowling owns all. I'm just a meager fan fiction writer.  
**Rating:** R (Violence, Strong Language, Adult Situations)  
**Pairing:** Remus/OC

**Authors Note:** This story is based off of the events in another story I have wrote, 'Now and Then' which is as of this moment discontinued because I didn't like where it was going. I think I'm one of those starving artists that is tries to hard to get things perfect. While I enjoyed my run with 'Now and Then' I also during these last months of writers block worked out the kinks in that story, noticed how slow-going things went, and how in general I wasn't happy with myself. I was lucky enough to receive kind reviews, and shouts of support so I just couldn't give up on 'Now and Again' all together.

This story as it stands is not 'Now and Then' re-wrote. This simply has the same basic (and I do mean basic) plotline. Meaning, if you've read 'Now and Then' you can still read this and think of this as a whole new story. Some things won't come as a surprise, and some things very much will come as a surprise because where I stand on this right now is that this story is an all new story.

For those of you that weren't with me for 'Now and Then' all you have to know is some love breaks the bonds of time, and that holds true more for a certain Remus Lupin. This is dedicated for all the Remus Lupin fans out there that want to see our number one werewolf happy in the end.

Thank-you,  
_-Lucky Shamrock_

* * *

"It's Time Now - To Sing Out  
Tho' The Story Never Ends  
Let's Celebrate  
Remember, A Year In The Life Of Friends."  
Rent - Seasons of Love

* * *

Once in relationship, the bond between Twin Flames can only be compared to the bond between identical twins. They are aware of each others thoughts, feelings, desires and needs at a level that is hard to imagine. The depth of Love is such that to be apart even for a day is a hardship. What is meant by that is that their hearts literally hurt when they are separated from each other.

* * *

July 17, 1967

Remus Lupin loved the outdoors. No matter how dangerous his Mother always told him it was, he wandered about the forest behind their small yet cozy cottage, at eight years old he already felt as if he was immortal--nothing could hurt him! Not even falling down a tree, which he had of course done the week previous and got an earful from his Mother because of it. He was an "odd sort" according to his Father, which was simply because of Remus having a fondness of all magical beings that lived near their home. Remus had even made friends with the gnomes that ravaged his Mothers petunia garden.

Which was why today Remus was doing what he did best. Wandering around the forest, climbing the occasional tree, and wondering why that Bundimun growing on one of the oak tree's didn't want to chat. Although, it might have been because Bundimun's were fungus and only had eyes--not mouths. Still, it caused this young wizard to ponder about living life as a green glob that just watched people and things without speaking it's mind. Did it even have a mind? Complex thoughts for an eight year old, but Remus thanks to his Mother had already been schooled on a basic level. After all, she didn't want her son to go to Hogwarts with a box of rocks where his brain was supposed to be.

Although, it was in this wondering about the green blob with eyes and how horrible it would be to live a life like that, when Remus became lost. Which considering that he spent most of his day's in the forest was hard to believe. The sun was already starting to dim, pushing him out of his thoughts with a frown as he looked around. Hazel eyes darting up towards the sky, with a shake of his head.

"Mum's going to kill me." Stated out loud in a whine that only a young boy could pull off. He was, as the sun set--officially late for dinner. He hadn't meant to loose track of time, or where he was for that matter, it just happened. However, his Mother would have his head for being late. Out after dark, Remus would be surprised if she didn't send a search party.

That was the least of his worries at the moment though. Dread in his stomach about being yelled at once again by his parents started to fill his whole body. He was lost. The kid that prided himself on being the best of everything there was to be the best of had ended up lost in the woods, which were growing darker--and a tad more frightening then before.

He had managed to stay calm though, no tears, no yells for his Mother or Father --who should by now be home from work. Although retracing his steps was rather hard to do in the dark, since he kept tripping over fallen logs, and roots of trees that ended up in his way. At one point during his retracing he ended up tripping on a log, and skinning his knee on another one. Feeling the bark of the tree bite into his kneecap as he fell wasn't a pleasant feeling.

He sat there for a moment, just looking up at the sky which while was utterly dark, had oddly enough been allowing a bit of light into the forest. Full moon. Of course. He didn't have to worry though right? Nothing would attack an eight year old with a skinned knee in the middle of the woods. So instead of thinking about the horrible possible outcomes of the situation he went about looking over his skinned knee. The tanned flesh was already starting to bleed and Remus could only just smirk--that was so cool! He was a boy, what else did you expect?

It was in these few moments when Remus had forgotten all about being late for dinner, and about being lost in the woods. He just sat there, pressing his hand to his kneecap to get it to stop bleeding before he continued to walk. For such a young child he was calm about this sort of thing, this after all--wasn't his first skinned knee.

However, when the hair on the back of his neck rose he knew something was wrong. The feeling in the air changed, and that dread that had sat in his heart was now returning full force. Eyes darted around the dim forest, as he slowly came to a stand. His now blood covered hand was wiped on his well worn gray tee shirt, and his kneecap had finally stopped bleeding.

Standing there for a moment, he took a deep breath. Wondering how long it would take until his parents started to look for him. Of course this was answered with a shrill cry, "Remus John Lupin! You are in so much trouble mister!" His Mothers voice would never inspire angels to sing, or bridges to be built. It would however inspire Remus to start running towards the voice he heard. His Mother was mad, but once he explained that he was lost she'd be fine. At least he hoped so.

In his running he forgot about the dread he felt, the fact that it was the full moon, and the fact that his knee had been bleeding enough to warrant him wiping the blood onto his shirt. Although even if he remembered this he probably wouldn't have been saved. As he ran he heard it, something running behind him. He prayed that this was just his imagination, which he had been told by his Father several times that he had too much of. Yes, that was it...his mind was playing tricks on him.

All hope for that faded away when something heavy leapt at him, and tore into his shoulder. "MUM!" All he could yell in pain. This wasn't like falling down a tree, or scraping his knee--this was real pain. The kind that real monsters created. The kind of monster, he was doomed to become.

* * *

For a five year old, Kit Anderson was pretty smart. After all, with her parents always gone or asleep she had to learn to fend for herself. Knowing that as the sun went down, she would have at least a bit of time before someone got home, stumbling in home drunk, or angry. She had enough time to make herself a snack, and go up to her room to fall asleep while watching The Avengers which was a show that her parents had put their foot down to her watching whenever they were home.

They weren't home now of course, Daddy was at work, and Mommy was...doing "Mommy things" Kit wasn't exactly sure what "Mommy things" were, but she did know that in the end Mommy would come home and fall asleep wherever she ended up falling. Usually it was the living room floor. Which was the exact reason why Kit liked to get her snack out of the way, and get to her room before anyone came home. Bread was taken out of the bread drawer, and she went about making the best thing in the whole entire Universe. A peanut butter and Jell-O sandwich.

For a five year old this was like rocket science. Getting out the crunchy peanut butter from the pantry after using a kitchen chair to actually reach the shelf, she went about setting the jar on the counter next to the bread, and then managed to get the bowl of strawberry Jell-O out of the fridge. She was lucky in the fact that there was indeed food in the house. Grandma had come to the rescue in Grandmotherly fashion and ended up taking Kit earlier that day to the market, and getting enough food to last a month. Kit was thankful for this as she made her sandwich, which usually got her made fun of by her Daddy whenever he saw her making it. After all, it wasn't entirely normal to put Jell-O on a sandwich.

It was however what she liked, and she did it well enough on her own--even if her hands ended up covered in crunchy peanut butter. Soon her hands were washed, the bread, peanut butter, and Jell-O put back to their respected places. A glass of water was made, and the plate with her creation on it was grabbed. She was ready for the adventures of John Steed and Emma Peel alright, even if she didn't get or understand most of the jokes or situations for that matter.

Clad in pink footie pajamas the young one headed upstairs, her water dripping onto the carpet a bit--but it would dry before anyone got home. Kit's parents bought her a television because of the fact that they didn't want to have to entertain her. For parents they weren't very good at the whole parenting thing. In fact, they weren't even that good at the whole husband and wife thing come to think about it. Although Kit, in a way was happy. This was her life, she would accept it. For a five year old, she could imagine each and every other person in the world having parents like hers...so it wasn't that weird right?

First her plate would be set down on her mattress, and the glass of water set down on the trunk in front of her bed, before small hands turned her television on and turned the dial to five just in time for the opening credits to The Avengers. She sat in bed rather happy with herself, a day out with her grandmother, a yummy sandwich, the sounds of London floating in her window as the voice of John Steed lulled her to sleep, half finished with her sandwich, and water long since forgotten.

It would however be only a few moments before the young girl would wake up screaming. Her body was shaking so badly, and her shoulder hurt! Worse then anything before, there was nothing worse then this feeling. Not even the time when her Daddy accidentally shut her hand in the car door. She screamed, until her voice was gone, her face beat red, and covered with tears. The small child had fallen out of her bed at some point and managed to squeeze herself in a corner.

What had caused the pain? Why did she hurt so much? Unzipping the front of her nightwear she was able to see an unmarred shoulder. It hurt so much though! There should have been some kind of mark, even a five year old knew that. Although before she could think straight another wave of pain hit her, and she had passed out.

* * *

October. 3, 1993

Remus Lupin glanced at his reflection in the mirror. For a thirty-three year old he wasn't too bad looking. His body was lean, and lanky. He was in good shape, he just...looked sickly. Then again, the full moon had been the night previous. It was hard to stand on his own two feet, but he didn't want Snape to teach his class again--those poor children. In his reflection as he dressed he noticed his shoulder, bite marks from the very first brush with death he had ever experienced in his life.

The night he had become a werewolf. He of course remembered it like it was yesterday, the way the werewolf's breath felt against his neck, the way the warm blood just seemed to leak everywhere. The only reason he had been saved was his screaming. One moment the werewolf was on him, the next the creature was blown off of his back by a spell from his Father who had been out looking for him along with his Mother.

Of course his Father knew right away the life that Remus was doomed for. His Mother on the other hand was in denial, even when John Lupin carried their young boy back to the cottage yelling to get the fire place ready because Remus needed to go to St. Mungo's.

A sigh was given, and he shook his head with a frown before pulling his robes up to hide his scarred chest from view. He remembered that night too well. He didn't want to remember at all. Too much pain to remember the past, too many things lingered there that Remus would rather forget then mourn. Like Kit. A tired blink of surprise was given as he moved from the mirror towards his door. Had he really just thought that--about her?

Hands came up to massage the bridge of his nose before combing his graying hair back--it was going to be a long day if he kept his mind in the past. Thinking of her caused him to think about everything, James, Lily, Peter, Sirius of the past, and Sirius of the present--crazy, lurking somewhere out there. Remus didn't like thinking of these things. Remus never liked thinking of things that would cause the knot in his stomach to grow. Unfortunately once he started, he couldn't stop.

Kit had been his everything, his life literally revolved around her. If something was wrong he could always go to her with his problems, she understood. Not because she knew what it was like to be what he was of course, but because she had problems of her own. They took solace in each other. When he was with her, the pain didn't exist. Then she was gone--dropped off the face of the planet. Even Dumbledore couldn't find her. Leaving Remus alone. Even if he had great friends, he was still...alone. A werewolf with a girlfriend, that was rich. Funny if he thought about it.

He felt empty. Ever since he lost her he felt as if he was dying. Day by day a little piece of him gone until he stood now a shell of who he formerly was. He could smile all he wanted, he could form minds of young ones, and look at Harry Potter in just the right way and see James sitting there. It still wasn't enough to fill him up. He felt like a man that had walked through the desert for ages, and had nothing to drink--slowly dying of thirst as he walked on, searching for that water in the distance...

"Professor Lupin?"

Remus blinked, looking up from his desk with a frown. He had been so lost in thought that half the day had gone by already. The third year Gryffindor and Slytherin students now sat before him, with Hermione Granger taking the lead by getting his attention. Had he really been so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the students coming in? So lost in thought that he didn't even remember leaving his room and getting to his classroom? Didn't even remember the first class of the day?

"Ah yes, sorry--a bit lost in thought if you will. Please, turn to page 232; we will be learning about defensive tactics today." His voice cracked a bit...today. No wonder why he was thinking so much about the past--today was the day that Kit disappeared. He gave a sigh and turned to the chalkboard. He just needed to finish with this class, and then he could throw himself a pity party. He was surprisingly good at that. The class went on, and while he might have lost himself in explaining certain tactic's of wizards and witches long past--his thoughts were still on her. So much so that when he stepped out onto the floor to show exactly how to be on the defensive, he ended up bumping his knee straight into Ron Weasley's desk. Enough to pull his thoughts to the present with that sudden burst of pain. Sure, he had felt a lot of pain in his life, but it still hurt like the dickens to bump your knee into something as hard as a desk.

It was during this moment when he gave a chuckle with the class at his own expense that something happened. Remus wasn't entirely sure as to what, seeing as one moment his knee was aching, and he was laughing at his own lack of grace, the next the whole class gasped all together. He blinked, only in time to have his vision assaulted by the brightest light he had probably ever seen in his life.

Before he had time to grab his wand, before he had time to do something to protect himself...something was thrown against his chest--knocking him and whatever was thrown to him to the floor. For a moment he laid there dazed, now adding to the throb in his knee, his chest hurt. Sometimes it just didn't pay to get out of bed in the morning. Especially when he didn't feel all to well to begin with.

Hazel eyes blinked, his vision swimming for a moment before letting him look to see something--someone laying next to him. She was out cold, a small trickle of blood escaping her nose, and Remus felt his heartbeat explode in his chest.

Orange hair hung around her face in a manor that made it look as if she didn't brush her hair much, Hogwarts uniform was baggy on her small body, her pale skin made her look sickly, but she was wearing it--the silver charm bracelet around her wrist that robes would have hidden if she had been wearing them over her uniform. Four silver charms hung around that bracelet, a stag, a dog, a mouse (it was supposed to be a rat--but of course no one made a rat charm for a bracelet, go figure), and a wolf in a howling sort of stance.

Remus blinked, he felt his whole world spin. "Kit?" All he could choke out as he heard someone who sounded remarkably like James yelling for someone to get Madam Pomfrey. Remus didn't hear much after that, didn't feel much, because Remus John Lupin; had just fainted into oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

Live These Words

**Written By:** Lucky Shamrock

* * *

"The beginning is always today."

-Mary Shelley

* * *

September 15, 1976

Kit hated the hospital. By thirteen years old she had been in the hospital enough to warrant her sheer and utter hate for them. The way it smelled, so clean that her nose actually burned, the needles, the doctors that liked to poke and prod you where you hurt and had the gull to actually ask 'does this hurt'. This was one of the reasons why she was so happy to be sitting in Dumbledore's office. Apparently any place was better then the hospital, including her headmasters office.

When she hadn't shown up for class on September first, Kit had caused quite a stir until they were able to locate her in a muggle hospital. One side of her rib cage had nearly been crushed, enough to warrant quite a stay at the hospital for fear she might end up getting a rib jabbed into her lung. Her father had taken a baseball bat to her when she 'back-talked' him. She actually didn't back talk him, she just asked if he would be around to take her to Kings Cross station to catch the train to school. She knew it was a bad idea to ask him while he was drunk—but she had no choice. Either ask him or forget about school all together.

The official story was that she had been trying to sneak out of her room, and ended up falling off the drain pipe she had been climbing down. People believed it just fine. In fact, so did she. It was her own fault after all—she did have magic, if she wanted to she could stop him. Then she would be kicked out of the only place that kept her sane, booted out of the magical world for being an underage Wizard using magic on her very Muggle father.

Eventually when Dumbledore found out where she was, it was too late for her to be fixed up by magical means—which meant she was left in the hospital until today, when she had traveled by floo to the Headmasters office to wait for things to be sorted out involving her. After all, she was starting her third year fifteen days later then everyone else. Her peers had already learned quite a bit in those first few weeks. Leaving her behind now that she was back.

Her side on occasion still throbbed, but it was okay—especially now that she was back. Dumbledore wasn't there yet so she just waited in one of those plush chairs watching the paintings on the wall move and quietly talk to one another. It smelled like home here—home being Hogwarts. Sweet and musty, as if someone had been eating candy in the middle of a library of old books—that's how Hogwarts, or more specifically Headmaster Dumbledore's office smelled like.

She was relaxed now. Nothing could hurt her here.

* * *

"Why not Miss. Evans? Don't you think that she would be a better choice to tutor the girl?" Minerva McGonagall spoke in hushed tones, she wouldn't raise her voice to Dumbledore of course, but the transfiguration teacher just didn't understand why he would choose Remus Lupin over Lily Evans to tutor a third year Gryffindor. Mind you, it wasn't because she was against Mr. Lupin or anything—she thought he was an outstanding student. It was just, didn't Dumbledore think that Lily would be better suited to tutor someone of the female persuasion?

Dumbledore, with auburn hair that was starting to stain white with time just gave a shrug as they walked down the corridors. His hands clasped behind his back, royal purple robes trailing behind him and picking up a bit of dust on the ground that the House Elves hadn't gotten to yet. "I am sure that Miss. Anderson will be more comfortable with Miss. Evans, but Minerva trust me when I believe that Mr. Lupin is better suited for the job. Besides, I do believe this will allow Miss. Evans to spend more time with Mr. Potter."

"I thought she despised the ground he walked on? I do remember her outburst in class last year when she called him an arrogant git." Obviously, gossip was not beyond Hogwarts teachers.

"Time changes people Minerva, you know that. A funny thing time…" Dumbledore trailed off, a thoughtful look on his face and a gleam in his eyes not quite hidden by the half moon spectacles that he wore. "Mr. Lupin as you do well remember used to be a lot like Miss. Anderson, sticking to himself, not making any friends—until two boys pulled him into friendship. I do believe that Mr. Lupin will be able to help Miss. Anderson not just with her studies, but with her relationships with fellow students as well."

McGonagall just frowned. In her mind, Miss. Evans would be able to do the same thing for the third year girl. Dumbledore was just doing what he did best—giving cryptic messages. He knew something that McGonagall didn't, she was used to this sort of thing by now—but it was still bothersome. Especially since she couldn't see the point of the matter.

"Why don't you go fetch Mr. Lupin and bring him to the library while I go fetch Mrs. Anderson? I do believe she should be in my office by now." Before McGonagall could even say her answer Dumbledore was walking away, towards the staircase that would lead him to his office.

Leaving McGonagall to stand there alone she gave a sigh and rolled her eyes. "I hope he knows what he's doing…"

* * *

Remus Lupin was enjoying the start of his sixth year. For a werewolf, things were pretty good. He had a good group of friends, good grades, and an over all general happy life. Something was missing though, and he wasn't entirely sure what. No, he was sure. Every time he seen Sirius with a new girl, or James following after Lily trying to show her how much he had changed and wasn't an arrogant git—every time he seen that Remus knew love, a girlfriend was the one thing that would never happen to him.

Although Remus wouldn't let himself get depressed over that fact. He had more then enough to be happy about—including being allowed to go to school all together. Which was why when Professor McGonagall came up to the Gryffindor tower sometime after dinner to grab him away from playing Wizards Chess with James, he had to worry. What if someone found out that Dumbledore let a werewolf into the school and that was why he was being pulled out of the tower by a stern looking McGonagall.

His imagination ran wild sometimes. He knew it probably wasn't anything really bad, but with McGonagall tight lipped about the situation as they walked—he could only wonder. Until finally by the time they reached the main floor of the castle she started talking.

"Mr. Lupin I assume by now you know that you are a very bright student. One of the top five in your class."

Remus blinked, and nearly ran into a wall when she said that. It was so off the wall from what he was thinking. She dragged him out of the tower mysteriously just to…compliment him? That really didn't make sense to him, but he would take it. Being one of the top five in his class meant a lot. Even if he was at the bottom of the top five, he knew that much. All because he was horrible at potions, if it wasn't for that he could be top dog so to speak. "Um, yes Professor." Had been all he could muster up to respond to her with.

She glanced his way with a raised eyebrow and tight lips, making him wonder if that was the expression she always carried. If she had been shocked would she still looked as if something horrible walked in front of her? Sure, she was nice and all…but she always had a way to scare him. Just…that look, that "I know something you don't know" look.

And she did know something, which became abundantly clear by the time that she managed to get him to the library. Hazel eyes looked over the glass windows and into the near empty library, unless it was close to a test, most people didn't set foot in the library. He wasn't one of those people, he lived there in the weekends when James and Sirius were plotting something he didn't approve of. A questioned brow was raised, why did she bring him here.

"The Headmaster has asked for you personally to tutor a third year in the Gryffindor House. She has arrived late, therefore needs to catch up quickly." McGonagall pushed her glasses up her nose and kept her gaze steady on Remus, causing the young werewolf to gulp with a nod.

If the Headmaster asked for him specifically it would be important right? Besides there were worse way's to spend his nights. McGonagall continued speaking before Remus could even open his mouth to say he would do it.

"Twice a week every Tuesday and Thursday, and maybe on the weekends if she really need's it. You will be given ten points for taking role as her tutor, and the job starts now."

She really didn't even give him a choice. Even if he wanted to say no he couldn't, she was already dragging him into the library and taking him to one of the very last rows of tables to see the most awe inspiring sight he had ever before seen in his life.

Remus didn't know what to expect, he didn't know many of the third years but he could usually match names to faces—he was a Prefect after all, that was what was expected of him. However, the girl in front of him didn't ring any bell's in his head. That however was not what was awe inspiring about her.

It was how she just seemed to be off in her own world. Her head tilted forward as she read from a rather large worn book, orange hair laying flat against her head hiding her face from view. Small hand scribbling notes on a spare sheet of parchment. She was oblivious to anything around her, and she seemed…

It was funny really, he was only a few feet away from her, she wasn't even looking at him so he couldn't gauge her facial expression—but she just seemed so…sad. He could feel it in his very core, no matter how weird it was he knew she felt sad. For the first time in his life, Remus was speechless because of a girl. Even when she looked up, he knew she wasn't the prettiest girl he had ever seen, that of course went to Lily Evans—but this girl…was just…

He didn't know, couldn't understand why he felt like this. Deep blue eyes peered at him and McGonagall before she hurried to stand, and he noticed how small she actually was. Then again, at sixteen he was already nearing six foot three, so he was usually towering over anyone anyway. She was just small, as if the wind would blow and she would be broken. He didn't want that to happen, especially when he seen her flushed expression. Her eyes darted away and he finally realized why…he was staring at the poor girl.

His eyes darted away immediately, and he could hear McGonagall make some sort of 'hmm' noise. "Mr. Lupin, this will be your charge for the next few weeks. Kit Anderson. Likewise, Miss. Anderson—Remus will be your tutor for the time you need one."

Kit nodded, and Remus did the same. Although he was still confused about what the heck he was feeling—he just met her, hadn't even spoken a word to her and still he felt a burning ache inside to be near her, to hold her hand, comfort her, listen to whatever she had to say.

"Very well then, I will leave you two to your studies." With that Professor McGonagall left the library, of course along the way she scolded Alice Quigley for drumming her fingers on a nearby desk.

Thus leaving Remus alone with Kit. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and brought a hand to rub the back of his head, causing sandy brown hair to mess up even more. His hair wasn't that long, not as long as Sirius' and certainly not as messy as James' but Remus had long enough hair to look like bed head the moment his hand scratched at his skull out of nervousness.

"Hi Remus." Her voice was quiet, so quiet he nearly had to strain in order to hear her voice. She had already had sat back down in her seat, and for the first time Remus felt bad—not because she was so sad, but because he didn't know who she was. His mind drew a blank when it came to her.

"Hullo Kit, nice to meet you." He paused for a moment, moving to sit down next to her was a bad idea—he could have just sat down across from her, but he ended up pulling out that chair only inches away from her body. He noticed her go stiff for a moment as he sat down, one of his hands moving to grab a book from a pile.

"H-history of Magic." She stated, glancing over towards him with a nod of her head causing that limp hair to fall forward into her pale face. She gave a nod towards the book, as if unsure of him being so close to her. "Troll wars of the early eighteenth century; I figured I'd start with the most boring and work my way up."

He'd grin, "I don't think anyone could find History of Magic anything but boring." Which was the truth, things were just so dull. Even if the Troll Wars were somewhat interesting, they would always be hindered by the Professor's low monotone voice that lulled anyone to sleep. "I think I remember this though." Stated after a bit of deliberation, he remembered it all right—after all third year wasn't too long ago.

His knee bumped into hers when he moved to look over what she had written down as notes so far. Remus felt his face flush, and seen her face flush—she was cute when she did that, beat red for just a moment as she looked anywhere but him. Remus couldn't believe that he thought she was cute already—he was always scolding Sirius for falling in and out of love so easily, and now look at him. He was falling in love just as—wait a minute love?

No way.

No possible way.

And yet there was a lingering thought in his mind, a Muggle phrase…

_Love at first sight. _

_

* * *

_

Kit didn't know what to expect when it came to having a tutor, which might have been why Remus caught her off guard. Sure she knew who he was—everyone knew who he was, one of the most popular boys in school because he hung out with James Potter and Sirius Black. Sure, Kit might not of been one for socializing, or leaving the dorm room much—but she did know who certain figures of popularity were.

He just felt so different. She had never actually been within five feet of him at any given time, but now that he was sitting so close to her. It was like she felt—safe? For the first time since she was little she felt safe, really safe. Funny wasn't it? She didn't understand why him being so close to her made her feel so at ease. She laughed at his jokes, and told him how lame she thought History of Magic was.

It was like, this was the way things were supposed to be. Which was more then certainly why she felt so bad when he had to leave. Well, actually they both had to leave. They would be kicked out of the library if they stayed much longer. The good news was that with his help she managed to finish two parchments of a essay on the Troll Wars, and managed to start making a chart of healing plants for Herbology.

"Here, let me help you with those." Kit was drawn out of thought as they headed out of the library. In her hands was a rather large stack of books, and Remus was quickly making the stack lighter by taking quite a few books into his arms.

"Thanks Remus. I would have probably collapsed halfway up to the tower because of the weight of them." She said jokingly, but it was very obvious that those books would have probably ended up causing a situation on the stairs if she had continued to hold them. She was just trying to keep some sort of conversation going, which was hard. She was never a very vocal person, but she wanted to hear him speak. He had a deep voice, up beat, raspy. She liked it.

She liked him. The way he towered over her, the way his hair fell in his eyes when he was looking over her work, or how he chewed on the end of a quill while thinking. Remus, was without a doubt very cute. At least in Kit's opinion, but then again according to her mother she didn't have a very good taste in men, especially when she said that David Bowie was cute.

Kit had to roll her eyes even thinking about that, the up and coming British rock star was definitely cute, no matter what her mother thought. So, Remus was cute—and anyone that thought otherwise could go choke on a Hippogriff.

Funny really, she had only been speaking to him for a few hours—but it felt like ages. As if they had been talking since the moment she was born, as if they knew exactly what the other was thinking, because he had finished her sentences a lot actually. She furrowed her brows thinking about that.

Okay, that was kind of creepy now wasn't it?

"Thus why I thought it would be a good idea to be a pack mule." Remus grinned down at her as they headed up one of the castles many staircases. That grin was enough to make her nearly trip because she hadn't been paying much attention to the stairs. "Careful there…" He reminded her, still grinning in amusement.

"I think the stairs tripped me…" Kit said giving a small grin in return of his amusement.

His head canted off to one side and he gave a nod, "Those stairs…tricky buggers really."

"Glad you understand my pain then." She stated with a roll of her eyes. It was nice…talking like this, being…playful.

Her stomach flipped around a bit as they approached the Fat Lady portrait. This was the end of the line. "Think you'll be able to make it up to the girls dorm with these books? I don't think I'll be able to carry them up the stairs—halfway up I'll end up sliding back down. Nocifix." Remus said the password and the portrait swung open, allowing the two inside.

The common room was still packed, and would be for another hour. Although Kit never spent much time there. Too many people that she really never talked to. What was the point of sitting down there alone if she could sit alone in her dorm, on a comfy bed and relax?

"I think I can manage. Thanks again Remus—for everything."

He nodded, stopping with her just at the steps of the girls dorms. Warmly smiling down at her as if he wanted to say something but didn't know how to get the words out. Finally he started to slowly put her books back into the stack she held.

"You're welcome Kit, glad to help. I'll see you on Thursday?" It had to be her mind playing tricks on her, it really did. He sounded hopeful. It couldn't be though right? Why would he be hopeful to tutor a third year when he could be off hanging out with James Potter or Sirius Black?

She frowned briefly at the thought, but nodded her head as he placed the last book on the stack in her arms. So many books weighed enough to make her shoulders burn as she held them. "Thursday, same time."

He nodded and started backing away, a grin on his face. "Same pla—oh, sorry."

Kit grinned watching, Remus had been backing away not looking at where he was backing into…straight onto the lap of Sirius Black who was sitting in one of the comfy chairs near the fire. "Why, Remus Lupin—I never knew you thought of me like this…"

Was all she heard as Kit hurried up towards her dorm. There was a bright grin on her face by now, and why not? She had got out of the hospital, was back at Hogwarts, and just spent the afternoon being tutored by one of the greatest guy's in the world. What could be better?

She dumped her books onto her bed, shoulders making her body painfully aware that carrying so many books wasn't such a good idea. It had been a good night, but still…there was something nagging at her as she grabbed her pajama's out of the trunk at the end of her bed. The dorm room was empty now, silent, as most of her peer's were down in the common room.

She headed towards the bathroom, intent on getting her shower done, and getting into bed before the others came upstairs. It was when she made it to the bathroom that she remembered what was nagging at her.

She had automatically grabbed it. Out of habit. That small pocket knife that she had stolen from her father the year previously before coming to school. One hand held pale pink pajama's, the other hand held that small knife—just like it belonged there.

Kit had forgotten all about it, all about the idea of hurting herself—but apparently her subconscious didn't. After all, how long could that feeling of safety last? It was gone now that she thought about it, nothing but a cold chill dancing around the nape of her neck reminding her that there was no possible way Remus Lupin would ever like her.

She was damaged. He wouldn't like someone like her, even if it felt like…

Like they connected. It was a laughable thought really, no one could connect that quickly.

Kit gave a sigh, letting the breath out of her lungs as she dragged herself into the bathroom. There was no possible way they could have 'connected' no possible way he would like her. Even if she liked him.

Like?

No…she didn't just like him. Love. That sounded better didn't it? After four hours in a library? Love? Well, Kit had to just frown at that—it wasn't possible.

But there was that nagging at her mind again. That simple thought…that simple phrase dancing on her tongue.

_Love at first sight…_

* * *

**Authors Note:** I'm shooting for an update every other day. It seems to take that long to write a pretty decent sized chapter. This one had a bit of fluff, but for their first meeting it needed to be that way. Don't worry, there will be a lot of conflict sooner or later, their relationship won't be roses all the time. You just have to remember this, they share the same soul--that's what a Twin Flame is, thus why they feel so connected when they first lay eyes on each other.

**Next up:** Accepting the Future

Also, a big thank-you to those of you that reviewed the first chapter. It means a lot to know people are reading this.


	3. Chapter 3

Live These Words

**Written By:** Lucky Shamrock

* * *

"We all have big changes in our lives

that are more or less a second chance."

-Harrison Ford

* * *

October 4, 1993

"Is it true Albus? Is it really…" McGonagall let her voice trail off, watching as the Headmaster walked out of the hospital wing of the school with a rather odd sort of smile about his face. Almost as if he knew this day was going to happen sooner or later.

Dumbledore nodded, that small smile never leaving his face even when his golden cap nearly tumbled right off of his head while nodding. "Yes Minerva, it is who we think it is. According to Miss. Granger she just fell out of a portal rather forcefully and landed right on Remus. Which might explain his broken rib's that Poppy is currently healing."

"How is this possible? At all, I mean—she just disappeared that day. Now all of the sudden she's back?" McGonagall was beside herself, then again when it came to situations that couldn't be explained she usually was.

"At of current standing point Minerva I am not exactly sure how it happened. I assume it is a side effect of whatever spell she had been hit with that day. I assume that the spell was performed wrong, and it ended up sending her forward in time." Dumbledore gave a smile with that explanation, he didn't understand it himself—but it didn't matter, because things were the way they were supposed to be now. He was a wise man, and knew probably more then any Wizard on the face of the planet…but sometimes there were mysteries that even baffled him.

"I suppose, but Albus—how will the poor dear react? One moment she was nearing her fifteenth birthday, and all of her friends were alive. Now, only Remus remains—and he is a bit different then the last time she set eyes on him." McGonagall did have a point, one moment the girl was in her DADA class working on offensive spells, and she was hit with a stray spell. For the longest time they just figured the spell caused her to disappear, maybe end up on another side of the planet. As the years went by though—they all feared the worst. Now, she was back, and obviously little time had passed for her…one second she was in the seventies, now the nineties—and everyone she knew and loved…

Were gone. The one person she loved above all else, wasn't as he once was. He was a grown man. How would she react?

"Minerva, things will work themselves out. This was without a doubt, meant to be. There is a reason for everything. Let us retire to dinner? I'm sure those two will need to talk when they wake anyhow."

"If you say so…" McGonagall said, but very obviously didn't sound convinced.

* * *

It was dark when Remus awoke. He couldn't quite figure out why he had been sleeping, or where he was. His side felt bruised, as if someone had hit him in his ribs with a boot. A tender feeling that he was aware of the moment he took in a deep breath. There was something different though. Not just the fact that it didn't feel like he was in his own bed. Just, different—a feeling of being at ease. The sort of feeling you get when you climb into a warm bath. That's what he felt like, a feeling he hadn't had in a very long time.

As he pondered this, hands came up to rub at his eyes. How long had he been asleep? It felt like quite a few hours. Long enough to make that feeling of the full moon and the pain it brought be a feeling of the past. Gradually he lifted himself up off the bed he sat in, and hazel eyes took in dim surroundings.

The hospital wing?

What was he doing here? The dim outline of several beds, and a few medical trays here and there was enough to make him realize where he was. The question still remained, what was he doing here? That pain in his side had something to do with it right?

He thought so any way. Now where was he last? Eyes closed in thought as his leg's swung over the bed and touched the cold floor as he sat there. Okay, he was teaching right? He remembered that, defensive spells…he was going to teach them how to protect themselves against attacks—and then?

His mind was blank, it was usually blank when he woke up. Even when he was younger he needed a good ten or so minutes before actual thought decided to show up. A yawn escaped his lips and he stretched his body back slightly, arms raising above his head just enough to remind him that his side hurt a bit.

Not the worst pain he had ever felt, but it was there—and it was bothersome in it's own right. It was while he was stretching that hazel eyes found a form laying on the bed next to his. Orange hair covered up her face, at least it looked like orange in the dim light. For the longest time he just sat there looking at her, watching—trying to figure out why it felt so weird to see her there. She was probably just another student right?

Then, his brain clicked into action.

It couldn't be. Kit. Kit was dead. They told him there was no hope, that he needed to stop wallowing over the fact that his first love was dead. They were right really. The first year was really bad, then things just got worse. Lily, James, and Peter died, and Sirius was hauled off to Azkaban. Adding all of that to the pain of loosing Kit. Enough to drive him mad.

Instead of going crazy, he simply vowed to a life of being alone. Living with Muggles instead of Wizards, and forgetting all about what life used to be like. Life with friends, life with love. Then all of the sudden out of the blue Dumbledore hired him.

Throwing him back into this life just as Sirius escaped from prison. Did Dumbledore knew this would happen? Knew he would have his love tossed back into his life?

It wasn't her. He was just seeing things. Maybe he finally went crazy? He was lost in thought. So lost in thought that he didn't notice that blue eyes were now staring at him with confusion, didn't notice that the girl in the bed next to him was starting to sit up.

He did however notice the moment she spoke, "Remus?"

It was in a soft sort of voice, the kind that Kit always had. As if she didn't want to be too loud for fear of causing people to pay more attention then she wanted to herself. He couldn't believe it. He was actually going to be one of those nutter's in St. Mungo's talking to himself. Having a great ole' conversation with someone that was dead!

At least she could recognize him right? He had been almost eighteen the last time she seen him. Now at thirty-three he did indeed look a great deal different, graying hair, more wrinkles, more scars…

"Remus?" She asked again, urging him to talk. He could sense the fear in her voice, he could feel it actually. Was it possible to be insane and feel your invisible dead girlfriends fear? He wasn't to sure, then again he was new to this whole insane thing.

"Hullo." Was all he would say, carefully as he let his eyes meet hers. He didn't know what else to say to an illusion. 'Hello, been a long time eh' just didn't seem like something he should say. In fact he wasn't sure if he should be talking at all. After all, talking back to the crazy illusion just made him more crazy right?

"You…um." She paused, and looked around for the first time. Taking note that they were indeed in the hospital wing. "What are you doing here? I thought you were helping James and Lily with painting the nursery? Is that why you look so—different? Something must have spilled on you. Bad potion?" She was rambling on, obviously trying to make sense of the situation and her words stung Remus like a bee.

The day she disappeared he was indeed helping James and Lily paint their nursery. He had graduated while she was starting her fifth year, and they owled each other daily. That day he had managed to watch James and Lily bicker over what color to paint the nursery, and the fact that Lily put her foot down to painting it with magic. She wanted it done proper. Said that the work involved would make James and the rest of the boy's feel connected with the room. They had decided on yellow and light green. Neither boy or girl colors.

James and Sirius had gotten into a paint fight by the time a very pregnant Lily Potter walked into the room with a look of…pain. They had thought she was going into labor early, but no…she had news—an official letter from Dumbledore.

And here Kit was, she was supposed to be dead—asking him if he had potion spilled on him to cause him to age. Did illusions do that? His mouth opened and closed for a moment. Why did he keep thinking that she was an illusion? Maybe…

That was just wishful thinking wasn't it?

"Remus—please, what's going on?" There was a sense of urgency in her words, the question so laden with fear that it made him sit up straighter. His mind wasn't playing tricks on him—not when he could feel her so clearly.

Remus could feel his eyes tear up, she wasn't dead. She was—alive. So many years of thinking she was gone forever. So many…

"What's wrong—why are you sad?" She felt him too, felt that sadness weighing heavy on his heart, on his soul.

"They told me you were dead." His voice came out more of a whine then he wanted it to. Then again—he wanted to start kicking things, punching the wall, scream at the top of his lungs. Instead he just sat there, trembling as he looked across at her. She looked exactly the same as the last time he seen her.

Sirius had let Remus borrow his flying motorbike, knowing that Remus and Kit needed as much time as they could have before she walked through Kings Cross to go off to school. They had barely been apart in two years, so it was hard—leaving her. Driving her to Kings Cross rather then flying, feeling her arms wrapped around his torso tightly.

Then seeing her off, one last kiss before she left. A smile on her face as she walked through the barrier to Platform 9/3. He hadn't seen her since then, they had traded letters, and he planned on visiting her with Sirius in Hogsmeade a couple of day's before Halloween, and of course he would see her when Lily finally gave birth…

But he hadn't. One day he was having a grand ole' time, helping to paint a room with his best friends, waiting until another letter from Kit arrived—according to schedule it should have been later that day, and then instead—Lily came in looking as if she was in pain.

He knew—the moment she came in her eyes found his. He knew…and he felt it too—that absence in his body, the feeling of emptiness. She was gone…gone…gone…

In his thought's he hadn't noticed that his shoulders had hunched up, nor had he noticed that he was crying. Remus wasn't one to cry over every little thing, the only times he could remember crying involved someone dying. Now, it involved someone coming back to life.

He felt movement next to him on the bed, and then before he knew it something was in his lap. Kit. Sitting there as if she belonged there, looking up at him with her blue eyes that he felt he could fall into. "They told me you were dead." He repeated, as if she didn't hear it the first time.

"I don't feel very dead." Stated matter of fact like. As if that was all he needed to hear as her hand found his, easily placing his large hand on her chest to feel her heartbeat. "See, I'm alive."

He could feel the heartbeat, the warmth of her body. He was also reminded about how small she was, how it felt as if he could break her in half with a simple touch. "Oh Kit…" Was all the warning he gave her before his arms wrapped around her body tightly. Pulling her as close as possible to him. He knew she must have been confused about the situation—or maybe she was still content in the thought that he had some sort of potion spilled onto him to cause him to age. Content in the thought that everyone was still alive and happy. He had to crush it to her. Tell her they were dead, her cousin had escaped from Azkaban.

He just sobbed harder against her. She was the only one he would allow himself to cry in front of, when she was gone he cried into countless bottles of Firewhiskey—but now…he sobbed into her shoulder. Her hand touching his back lightly, moving up to smooth his hair lightly. She knew he needed to cry right now, knew to comfort her, and knew she would have her answers soon.

He felt her fear, she felt his sadness.

He was complete again.

* * *

**AN:** C'mon, you know you'd sob like a baby if you were him. But seriously, this Remus is no wet noodle. Wait until you see what he does to Severus.

Another big thank-you to my reviewers.

**Next Up:** Past, new friendships.


	4. Chapter 4

Live These Words  
**Written By:** Lucky Shamrock

* * *

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."  
-Carl Jung

* * *

September 17, 1976

He had looked for her during meals, while he was walking the hall, and whenever he was in the common room. Yet he never caught a glimpse of her. Sure, there was a ghost of her here and there, just leaving the Great Hall when he walked in, or just coming in from being outside when he was going out. That was okay though right? So much time spent thinking about someone wasn't healthy. He knew that. Then why did she occupy his thoughts every night when he went to bed?

Listening to Peter snore in the bed next to his, that was all Remus could think about--her. Well, her and the stray thought of what would happen if he stuffed a sock in his friends mouth to keep him from sounding like a dying elephant. For a few brief hours he had known her, talked to her, taught her--and yet, he felt more attached to her then he was anyone else.

This wasn't good. He knew that. Remus knew a lot of things. Including the fact that a werewolf in love would never work, and apparently his mind didn't seem to agree. Seeing as he was in love. It wasn't a crush...it was love. He wasn't sure when he figured this affirmation out, but he did...and he hated it.

He didn't want to be in love. Especially with someone who probably only saw him as a tutor, not even a friend. It was a complicated situation. If he was remotely good at potion brewing he might have made up a potion to stop his feelings towards Kit. However if he tried that he would probably end up botching the potion so badly that he ended up loosing his hair or something equally as worse.

"I need to stop thinking..." Mumbled to himself as he looked down at the still filled plate in front of him. His dinner taunted him, the mashed potatoes laughed, and the pork chop was telling him how stupid he was for being in love already. Of course, he did have to wonder about his sanity if he actually thought his dinner was taunting him...

"What was that Moony? Still thinking of that girl are you?" James asked from across the table. They knew. Of course James and Sirius knew. Peter on the other hand could only lift his head up from his plate and raise his brows in question. Some things never dawned on the small boy, but he was still a friend--at least Peter didn't point out that Remus was still thinking about her.

"No." Remus said simply, trying to hide the fact he was lying--a skill he was never good at. James knew it, he smirked. As to Sirius? Well, he was no where to be seen, but if Remus knew Sirius at all, he knew that Sirius was out with girl de jour. "I'm just not hungry."

As if to prove his point Remus pushed his plate away from him, which Peter picked up the moment Remus gave a nod that it was okay. "Not hungry? Moony, we've been through this--the moment that you seen that girl to the girls dorm stairs and ended up using Padfoot as a chair. Head over heels...that's what you are. Admit it."

It would figure that James could see through the lie, but then again--James was smart like that. Remus would take James advice over Sirius' anyway, if only because Sirius only had a few words of advice and they usually included the statement "do her" somewhere along the lines. He could be talking about a brick and in the conversation "do her" would come up. That was Sirius for you. James on the other hand, was holding out for Lily. It was almost like a train wreck really--you wanted to look away, but you really couldn't.

Lily didn't like James and the whole school knew it. Except James kept trying, kept telling Remus that he would marry the redhead one day. Honestly? Remus didn't doubt that. James had a certain charisma about him that made girls fawn over him. Although that could have just been the messy hair, and the muscles from playing Quidditch near daily.

"There is nothing to admit, I'm just her tutor that's all."

"...sure, but you want more don't you?"

"Merlin--James, not everyone thinks with their..."

"Manhood?"

Remus blinked, and so did James. Sirius had chosen that part of the conversation to sit down during, his robes were messed, long black hair looking a lot like James', and very swollen lips--tell tail signs that Sirius was living it up with his current girl. Leave it to Sirius to say something about 'manhood'

"I can't believe you just said that." Remus said, shaking his head--a slight shade of pink appearing over his usual pale cheeks.

"I can." James stated with a snort. Quickly to be followed with Peter, "Me too."

Sirius just grinned a feral sort of way before grabbing a pork chop from the plate in front of him. "Seriously though, Moony--you need to just gather up the courage to ask this girl out. Having you mope around all the time, with that look of deep thought on your face is just..."

"Sad?"

"Depressing?"

Count on both James and Peter to keep up with the conversation. Sometimes Remus loved his friends, other times he wished that the floor would open up and swallow them whole. "I've only known her for a total of four and a half hours--most of which spent talking about Troll's and Herbology."

"Like that's any different from the stuff you normally talk about?" Sirius asked, brow raised as he bit into that pork chop--not even bothering to use a fork that was so very clearly right in front of him.

"Funny, really. I'm not like you guys...you know that."

"Ugh, are we back to the wolfie thing?" James asked, he was always careful about Remus' secret as a werewolf, in public it was referred to as the 'wolfie-thing' as if that couldn't be connected to being a werewolf.

Remus sighed, he was on the verge of just getting up and leaving--but these were his friends. They were only trying to help. "Yes, exactly. I can't. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"How do you know? Have you asked her what she feel's on wolfie politics? Or are we just guessing? Not everyone hate's them you know." Sirius stated, and that was all Remus needed to stand up with a sigh.

"I hate them." They knew it too. Remus loathed werewolves. He loathed himself. For good measure he glanced around at the near empty Great Hall, and shrugged. "I've got to go to the library now, I'll see you guy's later."

As he was walking away, leaving his friends a bit miffed it was James who called out. "You can't deny love."

Which was rather deep for someone that was content in making Severus Snape look like he soiled his pants, or other juvenile pranks.

* * *

Kit didn't want to die. That was the common misconception when it came to hurting yourself. People always seemed to think that someone that cut themselves up, wanted to die. Kit, didn't. Which was why she cut, maybe to know she was still living? Take the edge out of everyday life? It didn't matter to her why she did it, all she knew is that the sting of the cut a few hours after dragging the blade across her skin stung.

The fact that she was wearing a shirt that chaffed didn't help any either, but then again no matter what a Hogwarts uniform never seemed to comfortable to her. Maybe that was because they were always too big for her, even if someone transfigured them they ended up too big. Kit wasn't quite sure how that worked really. The sleeves brushing up against several new cut's that were made during the lunchtime hour had been what occupied her mind while everyone else was at dinner. She was already in the library trying to get a jump start on her transfiguration homework. Three parchment rolls worth, an essay on why it is dangerous to transform live things into something that isn't alive. Take a teacup for example, if you were to transform a cat into a teacup for a long period of time the cat would end up dying.

A rather depressing subject when one thought about it. Although, her thoughts were not on her assignment. Blue eyes ended up scanning the same few lines in her text book, no matter how hard she try to read on, thoughts turned to her tutor. Remus. She couldn't get him out of her head, the way he talked, the way he laughed. It was always in her head, even when she cut herself. Cutting usually ended up in no thoughts at all--but hers always went to that one thought 'what would he do if he knew'? What would he do? Remus didn't seem like the type that would enjoy that sort of thing, and probably would freak out if he ever found out.

A lot of people would freak out--thus why she never told anyone about it.

Still, her arm stung. Every time she moved her hand to write something down, her arm reminded her that it was there--and angry for being cut up. It was good though, the stinging made her stop thinking about him. At least for a little while, a second or so actually. Not enough to make her feel any better. Her stomach felt like it was doing flip flops because she liked him so much. How was it possible to like someone so much only after meeting them for just a few short hours?

She had made herself invisible, not literally—she wasn't that talented in magic really. She just, stuck to the walls, stayed in her dorm room when possible, and barely went to the Great Hall. Only when she was so hungry she couldn't stand it anymore. Sadly those times usually occurred at night, causing her to stay awake until she had breakfast. Although at least that meant she got to breakfast early.

It honestly wasn't that different from what she normally did. Only this time she was hiding from him. Why did she hide? Maybe she feared what one look from him did to her? The way it felt to be near him? She wasn't sure…all she knew was—she was a thirteen year old, she couldn't know what love felt like.

Could she?

Because when her heartbeat sped up when her head snapped up to see Remus standing near, obviously looking for where she was at in the library—it felt like love—burning her soul so much that her blood felt like it was going to boil.

Kit had stood up when she finally noticed Remus had no clue where she sat. A lot of people tended to do that, she was--unnoticeable. Then again, she was also surrounded with piles of books all around her. In standing up she had moved so quickly that her ink nearly spilled all over the table, instead just a few droplets landed right in the middle of her half wrote essay. Great.

Although, there was a bigger concern at the moment. Remus. He felt off--great now she thought she was 'feeling' him. Way to get yourself into the crazy bin at St. Mungo's Kit. Before she could even open her mouth he approached her, changing his scowl into a smile. "Sorry I'm late, held up at dinner." He explained simply, even though he really wasn't late. She was just here early--like always.

"It's okay." Kit said with a nod of her head as she sat back down. Remus took up the chair next to her again, like before there was a chair right across from her, but he still sat right next to her. It was confusing for Kit to say the least, because there were two reasons for this, either he sat so close because it was easier for him to see what she was writing, or he sat so close just because he wanted to sit so close to her. She hoped it was the latter, but doubted it.

Remus nodded and reached across her for an open book, peering down at it with hazel eyes he raised his brows and gave a shrug. "At least it's not potions." Said after reading the title of the Transfiguration book.

Kit gave a small grin and picked up her quill, "You're not good at potions either?"

"Horrible." He shook his head and stuck out his tongue to show his disgust at the subject of potions, "I'm not the best when it comes to measuring ingredients, so things always end up a bit off--or you know, blown up into my face. Take your pick."

Kit laughed, which was funny because Kit usually didn't laugh. She couldn't remember the last time she actually laughed honestly. It felt good, and he felt more at ease. No--she couldn't feel him. That was just her imagination. It had to be her imagination. Right?

"Well, we won't have potions work until next Tuesday--so for now we should just enjoy this." Kit really wasn't one to enjoy Transfiguration, but it was indeed better then potions. That always counted for something.

Remus nodded, and they set to work. He'd point out certain things from the book and his own experience to her, and she'd start writing. After a paragraph he would look over what she wrote and either correct something, or simply tell her to keep going. So far this school year, Kit was pretty sure that Remus was the best teacher to date.

She didn't notice that he seemed to be closer and closer to her until she felt his leg against hers. He was sitting not even half an inch away from her as he looked over what she had just finished writing in her untidy scrawl. Did he know how close he was? His leg against hers made her just want to crawl in his lap, feel his arms around her, feel...safe. She felt safe with him. No one else made her feel this safe. Not even Dumbledore himself could make Kit feel so safe.

It was nice. "Ah, we're done. That was easy."

"Four hours on one essay..." Kit said, shaking her head slightly trying to get all previous thoughts out.

Remus grinned at her and stretched his body out, arms moving above his head to stretch for the sky. "Yes m'dear, but four hours on a good essay. There is a difference."

She grinned and nodded, capping off her ink and collecting her books from the pile around her. Thankfully this time around there were only three books to carry back up to the tower and not a giant stack of books like last time. "So it meets your approval?"

He winked at her, "If it didn't, we'd still be working. I'd hate to see my student get something less then the best."

Student. She clenched her jaw, there it was. That's what he thought of her, all he thought of her. As his student. Maybe this was good news? Maybe this meant she could finally stop thinking about him day and night. Then, he started talking again, and before she knew it thoughts of forgetting all about him were swept right out of her head.

"Of course, it's good to have a friend that can keep up with my genius IQ as well."

"Genius?"

"Of course, genius. You didn't know that? I'm smarter then Dumbledore." His face broke out into a grin, and she couldn't help but laugh. He called her a friend, that was something right?

"Careful there, pretty soon we might have to have someone pry your ego off of the walls if it gets any bigger."

He stood, and offered her his hand. For a moment, as her hand slipped into his she was--taken aback, not just by how much larger his hand was then hers, but the way it felt. Did people always feel this way when they held hands? She wasn't entirely sure. It was like her whole body tingled, then just...peace. She didn't want to let go.

It was clear he didn't want to let go either, seeing as the moment she stood up he continued to hold onto her hand as she went about collecting her things. Her bag slipped over her shoulder and a nod that she was ready to leave. Hand and hand they left the already empty library.

Hand in hand.

Maybe he really did like her?

She could only hope.


End file.
